Emotions as weather

And this one is choppy 🌊

I’ll admit that I am having difficulty writing this newsletter today, there’s resistance because my world as I know it is about to turn on its head but whenever I show up on the page, I lean further into the truth that it is possible to trust my selves and I find that comforting.

This week I learned that I might not have a job after the month ends, there’s a relief in saying that here, admitting that I don’t feel resilient to move through it and let that be enough.

I spent most of last year redefining what joy looked and felt like for me - one of the ways I redefined it was having to not worry about where my income was coming from and being stuck in the middle of unemployment doesn’t feel very joyful.

I could spend the entirety of this newsletter talking about how confused I feel, and it will serve nothing other than reiterate the fact that I feel unsure of how to proceed.

If I am being honest reading that quote pissed me off for an hour straight, I sat reading it and cried a river. After sitting for hours in shock, meditation, speaking to members of my community and listening to my father speak prayers over my heart - it does make sense to me now.

I have been tracking my emotions for a month now using an app called “How we feel” and it’s been instrumental in how I’ve been able to move through this complex transition.

As someone who is hell-bent on dragging joy by its throat and leaving it bloody at my feet, being able to articulate my emotion is the way I find myself back into what’s possible.

I can acknowledge my overwhelm while I continue to daydream of futures that centre my need for rest.

it’s important to me that I continue to imagine worlds where my needs are being met and I feel supported even when the reality of my present life feels daunting.

I’ll eat hope for breakfast, lunch and dinner while reminding myself that emotions are like the weather, they change and shift and morph.

I am still here and that is everything.

In the spirit of being courageous

P.S. I am in the market for a new job in comms, content and social - if you find anything that looks like something I’d enjoy working on please email/DM them to me.

I also am open to freelance, part-time roles as well.

P.P.S. I adopted Tam’s baby last week and caring for her has been very grounding. Her name is Stromae and she's such a joy and a Grinch which pleases me so.

Here’s a postcard of her being a sleepy baby and also a new flower bloom I found in the nighttime at LUTH.

I will write again soon.

May we continue to feel supported and cared for by the Universe.

Sending you all of my love.

Kam